Pace my feet slowly
Speed of light, speed of leaf drop
lets tears of freedom
I have not written a haiku in years. Interesting. I wondered if there was a specific purpose of a haiku for this activity. I realized that haiku’s are total creative freedom in the context of a format. This reminded me of nature. Total freedom in the context of natural laws. If I don’t know the context of my experience, then my freedom becomes disconnected from nature and can be destructive. I had always avoided haiku’s because I thought them unnecessarily limiting. I see now that this is not accurate. I feel a connection to many human practices that are seemingly connected or derived from nature.
I have been a bit consumed by the oil spill and my relationship to the cause of this catastrophe. I have been even more actively lowering my carbon foot print and more attracted to change my everyday functioning. I am very scared for my son and all of nature in these seemingly crucial times (by this I mean more than any other time to date). I have been realizing how the days of carefree living are over. This was producing a panicky anxious hopeless feeling that was causing me a lot of problems. I was avoiding my school work, my work work, my parenting, my intimate relationship, and my band. Everything just seemed meaningless compared to the oil spill and the threat of more disasters. I was considering going down to the gulf to try and help clean up (which I may still do). This produced such intense emotions and I was not able to support them. I was starting to lose it. I could see this occurring and used the tools I have learned here and with nature to help me through this. As I wrote earlier, I received many messages from nature that helped me. I feel like I am gaining the nature supported position to be able to experience what is happening without being swallowed by it.
I am to the point that I trust nature enough that know that, whatever happens, each moment experienced in connection to nature is forever and that’s enough for me.