I went to a park across the street on a beautiful sunny day. I let my natural attractions lead me and asked permission to commune with the nature there. It was really a small forested area on the UNCG campus, yet felt surprisingly private and wild. I was feeling disconnected prior to the experience and was not feeling present at the outset. I noted that and went on with the exercise. I felt the now familiar answer to my question and proceeded. I was attracted to a spot of sun initially and ran straight into a spider web with the spider landing on my shoulder. I reacted spastic-ly and fearfully. I tried to brush the spider off and had some trouble doing that. I decided to go another way as I took that as a sign that I may have misinterpreted my attraction. I felt confused by this. When are my attractions really attractions? Maybe I’ve been wrangled too long to do this right now? I felt concern and a little hopeless. I followed another attraction back to the path and to a fallen tree with sun hitting it. I noticed that I feel a little distracted from feeling when I pay attention to my sight and that it looks sort of familiar. I am attracted to the beauty that I see and the complexity. I could see leaves and trees and plants illuminated and flowing in the breeze. I thanked my sight.
When I closed my eyes, I noticed sound much more intensely. I could feel nature much more intensely. My experience became subtler as I turned in place. Shadows had more value. I sensed a little fear of being hurt. I felt on guard. I felt there was value in having my eyes closed and having other senses come forward in my awareness. Certainly, I could value clouds for providing shade from the sun and protection from being seen as clearly or a sense of safety. As I turned in place the first sense I had was that it was rational to know that the sun was still shining, but I could also see it through my eyelids and feel it as just a sense of daytime. Certainly, night is cooler, but it has a feel to it as does day. I forget if that’s a specific sense of the 53 senses. I noticed that my shadow can provide safety for plants and animals that can be damaged by the sun or are vulnerable to predators that rely on sight. I felt myself as part of nature and that when standing still and just thinking about the assignment I felt a slight disconnection or unnaturalness. So, I began to move like the forest. I walked very slowly following my attraction to not being heard or rustling things. I felt the connection very strongly as I did this even though it probably looked a bit strange to another human. I stopped at a leaf that was being lit by the sun. I was especially attracted to it. I very slowly reached up to touch it. As my hand came close to it the leaf seemed to react by slowly vibrating. I pulled my hand away in shock. I wasn’t sure if it was real or if it was the wind. I did it again and again it moved up and down between my fingers: thumb on the bottom, fingers on the top. I was in awe of this. I felt no wind. I could see this happening. I could feel the leaf’s energy. I tried a different leaf with the same result. I continued to do this for several minutes. I felt like there was a chemical physical and emotional transference happening. I noticed that I was completely into that moment like I was meeting a new life form. It was awesome!
After I was thoroughly amazed at this leaf experience, I noticed that there is energy all around that is lit up by the sun, but not solely from being lit up. I notice the light but it has energy in the dark as well. I sensed that I overvalue light to dark based on fear of the dark, not on actual value. I get energy from the sun AND I recharge from sleep. The in breath and the out breath, day and night.